Tallowwood Read online

  Fuck. August groaned again.

  Then everything changed so fast. All of a sudden, August was somehow lying on his back on the sofa, completely manhandled and manoeuvred to where Jacob obviously wanted him. Jacob was on top of him, looking down at him, his eyes searching, waiting for permission . . .

  August spread his thighs, slotting Jacob right where he wanted him. Their hard cocks pressed against each other, and Jacob captured his mouth with his own. He kissed him, hard. August rolled his hips, searching for friction, searching for more. Every cell in August’s body was alight with desire. Writhing, grinding, gripping on and digging his fingers into Jacob’s back, on his arse, trying to pull him even closer. It was hot and heavy, want and need.

  Jacob was strong and muscled; his whole body moved with every rock of his hips, with every delve of his tongue. He was the perfect mix of demanding and tender, commanding yet receptive. He was in charge, there was no doubt.

  He made everything else disappear. In that moment, the outside world didn’t exist. No murder, no grief, no lies, no cover-ups. Every one of August’s neurons was firing toward one single focus.

  Jacob.

  Everything built up so fast, compounded and escalated, like he’d reached the peak and couldn’t take one more step without falling. His body was screaming at him to let go, but his mind said no. August put his hand to Jacob’s chest and pushed him back, breaking their kiss. “Stop.”

  Jacob was panting, his lips swollen, his eyes dark. “Are you okay?”

  August cringed, embarrassed and uncomfortable. He was painfully hard, and Jacob was still pressed against him in the very best of ways. “I’m too close. Just give me a sec, or I’ll come.”

  Jacob bit his bottom lip and smirked. “Or I could undo your pants and make sure you do.”

  Oh. Fuck.

  August’s eyes rolled back, and he tried to think of something else, but then Jacob was undoing his fly and his warm hand gripped August’s cock. And before August could say anything, before he could even think, Jacob’s tongue was in his mouth as he pumped him, and August had no choice but to let go.

  Stars exploded behind his eyes and pleasure tore through him, his orgasm hitting with a blinding force. He groaned as he came, spilling onto his stomach and over Jacob’s hand.

  “Holy shit,” Jacob murmured, then knelt back and struggled to pull his own cock free. Two quick pumps and he came with a strangled cry; his whole body jerked, his face a beautiful mask of ecstasy as he spilled onto August’s belly.

  Then Jacob fell forward, collapsing onto August and chuckling into his neck. “Fuck, that was so hot.”

  August was stunned. Had this really just happened? Reality settled over him and he wondered if things would be awkward now . . .

  Jacob pulled back, his eyes still dreamy, and he smiled lazily at August. “Stop overthinking.” Then he kissed August again before jumping up to his feet. He grabbed August’s hand and pulled him up. “I hope your shower fits two people. Well,” he added, “it’s going to fit two people. I just hope it’s comfortable because there’s nothing worse than your arse touching cold tiles.”

  August chuckled as he was led to the bathroom. He held up his pants with his free hand as they walked, but his shirt was now soiled. Jacob switched the bathroom light and the heat on, then opened the shower door and turned the water on too. He turned to August, and with a warm smile, he unbuttoned his shirt, slowly, leaving it open. He ran his fingers through the hair on August’s chest. “This is sexy,” he whispered before trailing his fingers lower, to the mess now cooling on his belly. “And this is sexy as fuck.”

  August looked into his eyes, expecting to see humour there, but Jacob’s gaze was intense and dark. He lifted August’s chin with his finger and kissed him, pulling August’s bottom lip between his own. When August leaned in for more, Jacob gave it to him, kissing him deep and holding his head, then running his hands down August’s back, under the waistband of his pants and briefs and he pushed them down. August pulled at Jacob’s shirt, then his pants, and before long, they both stood naked in front of one another.

  Jacob was fit and strong, his muscled frame was solid and well-defined. His arms and chest were broad, he had a flat stomach, those damn V-lines people melted over—that August melted over—and his uncut cock hung long and half-hard.

  He was stunning.

  And August felt like a lump of coal next to a diamond.

  August was twelve years older, which wasn’t a lot, but his beard had flecks of silver as did the hair on his chest. He ran on a treadmill when he felt like it, and he wasn’t pudgy at all, but he certainly wasn’t fit like Jacob.

  Jacob put a gentle finger to the spot between August’s eyebrows. “You get a line right here when you’re overthinking.” He planted a smiley kiss on August’s lips. “I can almost hear the cogs turning.”

  August’s face heated, and he was grateful for the steam beginning to fill the room. Maybe Jacob wouldn’t notice . . . “You’re kind of beautiful,” August mumbled. “It’s hard not to compare . . .”

  Jacob’s expression hardened and he took August’s face in his hands, bringing their foreheads together. “You,” he breathed, “are the perfect definition of a DILF, and you’re covered in my cum, and that’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

  August gasped and Jacob grinned. He turned August around and stepped him into the shower, following him in under the spray. August took the soap. “Um, what’s a DILF?”

  Jacob put his hands on August’s waist, pressed up against his back and whispered low in his ear. “A daddy I’d like to fuck.”

  August squeaked and squeezed the soap so hard he dropped it. They both froze, then Jacob burst out laughing, and August couldn’t help but chuckle as well.

  “I’ll get it,” Jacob said, kissing August’s shoulder before crouching down to retrieve the soap. There wasn’t much room, so he had to hold onto August as he reached for it. He kissed the small of his back, then he ran the soap up his legs, washing him as he went, then his arse, then his back, and when he was done, he turned August around and did the front.

  And August realised then, that things only got awkward when the kissing and touching stopped and reality stepped in, but the thing about Jacob was that he never stopped touching and kissing. There were no awkward moments because Jacob wasn’t giving awkward a chance.

  Then it was August’s turn to wash Jacob. Running his hands all over him wasn’t a hardship, and he noticed there was a galaxy of freckles across his shoulders. August ran a soapy hand over them, watching them disappear under the bubbles only to reappear when the spray of water rinsed them off. “More freckles,” August murmured.

  Jacob turned around, grinning, torrents of water washing over him. “What is it with you and freckles?”

  “I don’t know,” August admitted with a laugh. “I’ve never noticed them on anyone in my entire life, until you.”

  Jacob laughed. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. And I’ve never made out with a guy with a beard in my entire life, until you.”

  August blushed. “Oh.”

  Jacob chuckled. “This is where you say ‘I’ll take that as a compliment.’”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment,” August said, though they both knew he wouldn’t.

  Jacob thumbed August’s chin, scratching his beard. “And I’d like to think there might be some more making out yet. Pretty sure we’re not done.”

  August blushed. “Is that right?”

  “Absolutely.” He shut the water off and they got out and dried off. Jacob tied the towel off around his waist. “We probably should wash our clothes. Maybe we can make out some more while we wait for the machine to be done.”

  “You asking or telling?”

  “Well,” Jacob replied with a bit of a smirk. “Normally, I’d tell you. You said it before, I’m bossy. I like to take control. But you are the ranking officer, Detective.”

  “Since when has that ever matte
red between us? You’ve told me how it’s going to be from day one.”

  Jacob’s smile faded and he put a hand to August’s shoulder. “I also don’t want to pressure you. If you say no or stop or slow, then that’s what we do.”

  They were back to the broken thing. It had been good to forget about it for a little while.

  “No,” Jacob continued. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “You didn’t have to. You’re pretty easy to read. Once you know what to look for.” Jacob smiled and he moved his hand up to cup his jaw. “How do you feel? Tell me honestly.”

  “You’re a very touchy-feely, talk-about-your-feelings kind of guy, aren’t you?”

  “Guilty as charged, on both counts. It’s how I was raised. None of that miscommunication bullshit.”

  August snorted. “Good to know. I’m more of a reclusive, stay-silent-and-wallow kind of guy myself.”

  “I know!” Jacob said, giving him a gentle shake. “You still didn’t answer me. Don’t think I didn’t realise. How are you feeling after what we did?”

  “Physically, I feel amazing. What we did . . . or rather, how you did it, was amazing.” August was certain he was beet-red. He cleared his throat. “I haven’t done anything or been with anyone since Christopher, which must sound crazy to you.”

  “Not at all. You shut yourself off. I get it.” His smile was kind and patient. “And emotionally? How are you feeling?”

  Christ. He really was going to make him talk about his feelings. “Well, I . . .” He wasn’t sure how to say this. He found it easier to not make eye contact, so he leaned into Jacob’s palm. “I actually feel pretty good. I kind of expected a dump of guilt, but so far, so good. There’s no guilt at all. It’s more of a confirmation, I guess. That I’m ready to move on. Solving these cases will be the final moving-on stage, and I think we’re getting close, but right now, I’m feeling pretty good. It’s a new feeling for me, so I’m wary of what it all means, but it’s time.”

  “I’m really glad to hear that,” Jacob whispered before kissing August sweetly. Then he took a step back and scooped up all their dirty clothes. August didn’t notice how his shoulders stretched or how his biceps flexed or how the towel sat low on his waist, how his ribs and traps all bulged and slid under his skin.

  He didn’t notice any of that.

  Jacob’s smile widened to a grin. “Are you checking me out?”

  August looked him up and down again, then waved his hand up and down generally, signifying head to foot. “You can’t blame me. Christ, look at you.”

  “Well, you’re in luck. We can put this washing on, then you can check me out all you like while we wait for it to be done. Oh, and I need to brush my teeth because minty kisses are the best. Where’s your laundry room?”

  August laughed and shook his head at how incredibly normal it felt, how completely natural it was to be with Jacob like this. “Come this way.”

  With the washing on, August went into his room to get dressed but was surprised when Jacob followed him in, now carrying his small suitcase. Before he could ask what he was doing, Jacob said, “Figured I could stay in here. That way, we can kiss and cuddle until we fall asleep, and you can’t lie in bed by yourself and overthink shit, and I can wake you up at five o’clock for a morning jog.”

  “Morning jog?” August asked. “Kiss and cuddle?”

  “Yes. As in a jog in the morning, as opposed to afternoon or night-time jog. And yes, kiss and cuddle. Are those descriptors a bit weird? What about make out until we fall asleep? Is that better? I have to say, I’m more of a kiss-and-cuddle kind of guy.”

  August stared at him, then a bubble of laughter escaped him. “Um, I’m okay with that kiss-and-cuddle thing, I just wasn’t expecting it, to be honest.” He took out a pair of briefs, and keeping his towel tied around his waist, he pulled his underpants up.

  Jacob, on the other hand, flung his towel off and stood there in all his naked glory and pulled up some boxer briefs. “What?” he asked when he caught August staring. He adjusted himself and grinned. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Or showered with.”

  August’s cheeks heated and Jacob laughed. They grabbed their phones, brushed their teeth, and went back into August’s bedroom. Jacob went to the far side of the bed, pulled back the covers, and slid in. “This okay?”

  August turned the bedside lamp on. “Too bad if it wasn’t.”

  Jacob froze, his expression horrified. “No, but seriously, is it okay? If it’s not, I’ll understand. I mean, I don’t want to overstep boundaries.”

  August snorted. “That’s funny.” He switched the ceiling light off and went back to the bed. “I was beginning to think you didn’t have boundaries.”

  Jacob lay down and patted the bed next to him. “I have them. They’re just a little free-range.”

  August got into bed, and as soon as he was close enough, Jacob pulled him into his arms. He slotted into the crook of his arm, his head on Jacob’s chest, and Jacob’s arm around him. He wasn’t joking when he’d said cuddle. “Is this one of your free-range boundaries?”

  Jacob chuckled and the sound resonated in August’s ear. “See, with you there’s a fine line. I need to be a little hands-on because you’re so reserved. If I didn’t invite myself into your bed, you’d be staring at the ceiling right now, doubting every single thing we’ve done. Isn’t this better?”

  August sighed, because those were truths he certainly couldn’t argue. “It is.” Except he wouldn’t be doubting every single thing they’d done; he’d be wondering what happened from here. August really liked Jacob. Yes, he was bossy and had the habit of ordering food on his behalf, which wasn’t a terrible flaw, but he also had a habit of telling him how things were going to be. You’re staying at my place. You’re going for a jog with me. I’m sleeping in your bed. Maybe he was right. Maybe August needed him to be so forthright, because Lord knows if it was up to August, none of those things would happen. But he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of future they could have together.

  And why was he even thinking future? Why couldn’t he just enjoy this for what it was? Why did he have to overthink it and possibly ruin it? He’d known Jacob for all of four days, and he lived seven hundred kilometres away.

  Jacob chuckled and rolled them over so he was on top of him. Jacob searched his eyes. “Stop overthinking. I can literally hear those cogs turning.”

  “Yeah, I just . . .”

  “You just need me to kiss you till you stop thinking,” he murmured as he kissed him. And it wasn’t a quick kiss. It was slow and languid, all gentle tongue and unhurried lips.

  August’s legs fell open and Jacob smiled into their kiss. August couldn’t bring himself to care. They never sought more, there was no climb to climax or pressure for anything else. Just making out, lazy and lovely. And when Jacob rolled them to their sides, he held August close and snuggled in with his eyes closed and a serene smile on his face.

  August had to wonder if this was somehow a dream, if this was in any way real.

  “Stop thinking, Aug,” Jacob mumbled. “Go to sleep.”

  August chuckled and nestled down into Jacob’s warm hold. He closed his eyes, marvelling in the warmth, the intimacy, the sound of another man’s heartbeat in his ear, and for the first time in far too many years, fell into a blissful sleep.

  The morning jog wasn’t as bad as August thought it would be. He was nowhere near as fit as Jacob, though he held up okay. He did, however, make a mental note to hit the treadmill more often.

  “Who needs coffee when you can have a cardiac arrest instead,” August joked as he flicked the kettle on.

  Jacob toed out of his sneakers. “It wasn’t that bad. You kept up just fine.”

  “Because you ran half the distance at half the pace you normally would.”

  “That’s so not true.”

  August shook his head. “You’re a terrible liar, Jacob.”

  H
e smiled, but his brow furrowed a little. “You could call me Jake, you know.”

  August put two coffee mugs on the counter. “Could I?”

  “Well yeah,” he said, with a bit of a shrug. August had never seen him so unsure. His bolstered confidence was nowhere to be seen. “I mean, if you want. Most people call me Jake. Like friends and family, and I think we . . . I mean, maybe at work not so much. I usually get Porter or Senior Constable. Sometimes just Jacob. But I feel like I’m in trouble when you say it. Not quite like my mum full-naming me and dragging me back to the shop when I was six. But you know . . .”

  “She dragged you back to the shop?”

  “By the ear.” He nodded slowly. “And proceeded to kick my arse all the way there. Do you know how hard it is to hold onto someone’s ear and kick them in the pants?”

  August chuckled. “What did you do?”

  “Stole a Cherry Ripe.”

  August feigned a gasp and put his hand to his chest. “You little criminal!”

  Jacob chuckled. “She made me tell Mr Sumner what I’d done and apologise. I couldn’t even speak, I was crying so much. I thought I was gonna go to jail.”

  August laughed. “I knew I liked your mum.”

  “Gee thanks. It scared the shit out of me. Never stole another thing in my life. Never ate another Cherry Ripe either.”

  “Shame. I like them.”

  “Taste like delinquency and hard jail time to me.”

  August burst out laughing, and he was still smiling as he handed Jacob his coffee. “For you.”

  “Thanks.” He sipped it and sighed. “So? Can you say it or not?”

  “Say what?”

  “My name.”

  “Jacob.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  August tried not to smile. “Senior Constable Porter.”

  “Ah, comedian Detective Shaw.”

  August laughed again. “Okay, okay. Jake it is.”

  He grinned, sipped his coffee, and sighed. “Say it again.”

  “Don’t push your luck.”

  Jacob laughed this time, just as his phone rang. He raised an eyebrow and answered, “Morning Constable Deans. What can I do for you?”